It won’t be too far-fetched to say that no one is really prepared for the radical change that takes places the moment newborn baby comes into the world. Here are some 11 facts that may shed light on how your new life as a mother may look like.
1) Everything will look horribly dangerous
The floor is too dirty, the fabric softener is not hypoallergenic, the room is not warm enough – there will be days when you feel that bacteria are lurking for you and your baby in every corner. A nearby dog or a suspicious glance from a bystander will trigger an internal alarm. In the course of time, you will probably discover what frightens you most (roads, strangers, swimming pools?), and there is a chance that you will not find rest even when your child has children of his own.
2) Your relationship with your husband will never look the same
A third person will enter your lives and his presence will make it clear to you that nothing will be the same again. Both of you will love this little new person as you have never loved before, but new questions about your relationship and intimacy will inevitably arise. Your and your husband’s role in the family will change, your quality time together will look and feel different, your expectations from each other will evolve into the next level and will include parenthood. Lastly, sex life will also not be the same. One thing we can say for certain – it’s not going be boring.
3) Your connection to your mother will have a new meaning
You becoming a mother and your mother becoming a grandmother will change your relationship and add new complexities to it. You’ll assume a new role: a connecting link between your mother and your new baby. You will need your mother as you have not experienced so far, and she will be there for you in a way that will be new to her as well.
4) There will be moments (especially at nights) when you’ll feel you are losing your mind
Parenting can take you to extreme places, for better or for worse. There will be moments in which you will be exhausted and feel miserable. You may have thoughts you never knew you could have. It’s surely unpleasant, but you can take comfort in the fact that you’re not the first to experience these kinds of feelings, nor will you be the last.
Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. A nice talk with your husband, mother, sister or a good friend who is already a mother can do wonders. If the bad mood doesn’t go away, you should consider turning to professional help. There are people with expertise and plenty of experience who can help.
5) It will sometimes seem to you that other mothers are functioning much better than you
t’s nothing more than an illusion; The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Chances are you just caught the mother you think is better than you at her best moment of the day and in a few minutes, she’ll be the one to look at you with envy.
There is no clear-cut formula for better parenting. You can always consult someone you trust if you have doubts about something specific, but, above all, you should follow your instincts; you will most likely do things right.
6) You will have to make fateful decisions
How to call your baby, which pediatrician to go to, when to vaccinate, whether to circumcise your baby boy or not, to breastfeed or use formula, what is the right room temperature, whether to go out in this weather, to bring a cat home, to call a doctor because the baby cries too much or just to let her relax by herself, etc. You will have to face these and similar dilemmas on a daily basis. People close to you will be happy to give some advice, but oftentimes you will just have to improvise and do what you feel is best for your baby.
7) Sleep, eating and poop will become your whole world
Before you gave birth, you probably saw yourself as an intelligent and open-minded person with many fields of interests. During the first couple of months after birth, your whole world will shrink and become focused on your baby’s (and your) sleeping and eating schedule and, of course, poop. You have never imagined that the color and texture of poop would concern you, but now they do. It’s time to get a new perspective on life.
8) Help will become a valuable commodity
A few months ago, prior to becoming a mother, you were a self-reliant and independent individual. Now, as a new mother, you may find yourself dependent on others to assist you in all kinds of activities related to taking care of your baby.
Do not reject help if it’s offered and do not hesitate to ask for it. There is no price for the immediate relief a relative, a friend or a paid caregiver (if you can afford it) can give you. Besides, your baby will benefit from another pair of hands, especially experienced ones.
9) Even though you are not a competitive person, you will find yourself (mostly unintentionally) comparing your babies to other babies around you
Before your baby was born, all babies were quite the same to you; they were all equally cute. But now, every time you see another baby, you compare him to yours, even on a subconscious level. You ask yourself questions like who is more developed, smiling more, cleaner, cuter, calmer, etc. It’s important to pay attention to these feelings and be aware that they are probably related to you and not to your baby or any other baby.
10) Being completely alone will become your greatest desire
Before you became a mother, quality time alone was not a big deal. The moment you will become a parent having some time for yourself will become your greatest wish. Yes, of course you love your baby more than anything else, but it does not contradict the fact that there is another part of you that just wants quiet now, even for only half an hour.
11) You’ll never love anyone else like that
You have experienced ups and downs throughout your life, and you think you know yourself well. You will be surprised to discover that the world before becoming a mother resembles a black-and-white movie compared to your world as a mother. The enormous range of emotions that a new baby brings with him will be overwhelming. You will understand what true love (and anxiety) is. It won’t necessarily happen immediately after birth, but in the months ahead, you will find that you have never loved, missed or cared for a living being so much. That’s, undoubtedly, the coolest thing in being a mother.