There are experiences in life nothing can describe. One of them is the moment your new baby is put on you after a long, stressful, tiring and painful birth. Add to that the pharmacological drugs you were given by hospital staff, which made you partially or fully stoned, it’s no wonder the first things you probably said were anything but standard.
I did some extensive research trying to check what are the words women say after birth. The following is what I came up with. These words are categorized according to the types of reaction and feelings the women I talked with had.
— We made it!
— Wow, It was all worth it
— We have a daughter!
— I don’t believe it’s over, I don’t believe it’s finally over!
— Thank God, it’s over
— She is finally out
— Oh my God!
— I waited so much
— F***… what was that was?!
— I can do it again
— That was hard
— Wait, I need a minute
— No way I’m doing it again
— Next time I go for a C-section
— That’s our last one
— (To the husband) Next time, you get pregnant
The Examining mother
— (To the husband) Ohh…he has dimples
— (To the baby) Ohh… you are so sweet
— (To the baby) Is it really you?
— (To the husband) She looks like me, lucky her
— (To the husband) She looks much older, or is she just fat?
— Is there anything missing? (To the husband) Count his fingers!
— Yuck, she’s sticky
— (To the husband) Sorry for yelling at you earlier
— (To the husband) Sorry for being such a b*** all those months
— Son of a b***, (to the baby) oh sorry mommy didn’t mean to curse
— (To anyone around, especially the husband) Is he cute, is he really cute?
— I’m still feeling pain! Why am I still feeling pain?!
— Can I stop pushing?
— Are you kidding me? She can’t be mine!
— I’m so tired, why is she so heavy?
— Nobody said anything about stitches!
— Why am I still shaking?
— (To the husband) Go get my mother
— Where is the nurse, where is the doctor? Why there isn’t anybody here?!
— Is it OK to use my cell phone near the baby?
Those Who Love to Ask Questions
— What’s the time?
— Is it still rainy outside?
— (To the husband) Have my parents arrived?
— (To the husband) Where is my sushi?
— (To the husband) Did you bring all the bags?
These are just a few examples of what women say after they finish a 9-month journey with the wonder of a baby in their hands. What were your first words after birth?